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Brutai get grilled at Euroblast

Brutai 2014

Who the fuck are you and why should we care?

Felix (vocals, guitar): I’m Felix, we’re Brutai, and we sound like ‘brutal’, and that’s why we met up.

What’s the least accurate thing you’ve read about your band in print?

Felix: Apparently someone questioned our Bloodstock performance, and said “seriously guys, you need to sack your singer, he needs to know what kind of band he wants to be in”.

Henry (guitar): He gave us a 0 out of 10!

Felix: Which was amazing. That’s how you know you’re making an impact. He’ll remember us! The problem is he said we weren’t even the worst band of the festival, and we still got a 0. This guy was pretty harsh.

Mike (bass): I think we’d have taken it a bit more seriously if he was an actual reviewer, rather than just put his thoughts up on his Facebook page and just decided to link us to it.

Felix: It’s not so much print, more just a guy’s personal thoughts on Facebook, but it did make me laugh.

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever put in your mouth?

Alex (synth, backing vocals): Uhh, duck?

Henry: I ate crocodile once, that’s probably the weirdest food I’ve ever eaten.

Felix: But it’s putting stuff in your mouth, not necessarily eating it.

Henry: What else would you put in your mouth, that you haven’t eaten?

Alex: I dunno about that, but OK…I put pretty normal stuff in my mouth.

Felix: Well, it was involuntary, but I did have a bit of bird poop in my mouth. It wasn’t so much in the mouth but on the inner side of the lip, so it technically didn’t go in my mouth. It wasn’t a personal choice, so bird poop the white kind.

Alex: That’s pretty bleak. Or should I say, pretty beak.

Felix: Waheeey.

Brutai’s new single “Relapse”

What do blind people see in their dreams?

Felix: I’d like to think they see colours.

Mike: Considering they say if you lose a specific sense, all the others are heightened.

Felix: I think they just see loads of different colours in their dreams, and rainbows and things.

Henry: Actually, scientifically speaking, if you’ve been blind your whole life–

Alex: You don’t know what a colour is–

Henry: –What would you see? Because you’d have descriptions, but no concepts of them. How would you see things that you’ve been described?

Would you rather watch your parents have sex every day of your life, or join in once to stop it?

Alex: With Henry’s parents?

Henry: I’ll watch and turn myself blind.

Felix: That’s brutal though.

Alex: Don’t wanna get shown up by your dad.

Felix: *laughs* Wow, that’s so grim.

Henry: Is anyone else picturing this?

Alex: Straight away!

Would you rather not have sex with a goat, and have everyone think you had sex with a goat, or have sex with a goat and no-one would ever find out?

Mathieu (drums): Nah, the first one, because I don’t give a shit what people think.

Henry: What a great guy, role model to the band!

Alex: It might not be that bad, who knows?

What’s your favorite monument or monolith from your local area?

Felix: Ah, the Catford Cat. I’m from a place called Catford, and with a name like Felix, and you live in a place called Catford, and I also own three cats…there’s a place in Catford centre, there’s a big massive cat, right between a Specsavers and a KFC, there’s this massive cat just right above you. I’ve always got a personal connection with it. But there was a Facebook petition a while ago to keep it, because the council were trying to knock it down, but it went viral!

Mike: It actually got repainted at one point.

Felix: So the Catford Cat is close to home.

Catford Cat

You can Quantum Leap into one musician’s body for one show, you look like them but you retain your own level of ability. Who would you be?

Alex: I’ve always been a huge fan of Corey Taylor, and just to feel what it’s like to have a neck like that…*all laugh* Just stand there and be like “uuggghhh”. I love that man’s charisma too. I worshipped him as a young teenager, and I just think it’d be pretty cool to stand onstage as a man of that stature.

Mike: He’s quite short though!

Alex: Haha, yeah! Nice broad neck.

The object in front of you might be poo, or it might be chocolate. How do you find out?

Mike: I’d give it a smell first…quick smell…the aroma’s important. Usually gauge the initial idea after the sniff. Smelling first, definitely.

Henry: See if it’s warm.

Felix: Gotta test the heat! Just put the backhand an inch away from actually touching it, and you know if it’s cold, it’s probably chocolate. If it’s a little bit warm, probably poop. If you taste, that’s going pretty far deep, there’s no way back from that.

Mathieu: How could you describe it?

Felix: Smear test!

Alex: If it sticks to the balls…

You’re stranded on a desert island, which band member do you eat first?

Alex: EAT?!

Henry: Haha, your face! To be fair, Alex is probably most lean. You’d get the most for your money with him. Yeah, it’d have to be Alex or Felix really.

Alex: I hate you guys.

Henry: “…Not as much as I hate myself.”

Felix: I dunno, Mathieu could be a snack.

Henry: Yeah, because he’s French.

What incident from your childhood do your parents still talk about to this day?

Mathieu: Uhhh, maybe myself in general? Don’t really know one… Nah, there was one but I can’t tell it.

Felix: When I was probably about 4 or 5 years old, me and my brother were fighting over a Super Nintendo control pad, and he wouldn’t give it to me, so I decided to call the police on him. I was not happy with him, I thought the police should get involved. They actually came over too! They never let me forget that.

Henry: My best one was that I once ate a whole Sonic The Hedgehog cake, and I pooed blue! And they always bring it up. They always bring that up.

Felix: That’s your new nickname, Blue Poo.

Cool, thanks for all the answers!

Check out our coverage of Euroblast day one, including Brutai’s set, here!