Aussies Voyager, in the Monolith’s firing line at Euroblast 2014
Festival season is always busy – especially when it extends to October, and you find yourself trying to chat to everyone you can.
So whilst Euroblast is a couple of months past now, we’re still in transcribing mode. Next up on our list is Aussie prog quintet Voyager, who in true Aussie fashion, were on point and (almost) unflappable in the face of our weird and wonderful pot-luck interview technique.
Read on as we discuss cartoons, animal in-jokes, and the concept of thall…
Who the fuck are you and why should we care?
Danny: We’re Voyager, and fuck you, that’s why! *all laugh loudly*
Simone: Straight to the point, fellas!
Would you rather watch your parents have sex every day of your life, or join in once to stop it?
Simone: Well we were actually having this conversation in the van. I think I’d rather put a fuckin’ bullet to my head, to be honest. Probably A to be honest; I’d rather not have sex with my parents. Sorry Mum and Dad, I think?
Alex: After 20 times or so you become desensitized to it, so it wouldn’t be as bad, but once would scar you for life.
Scott: Just becomes a routine.
Simone: That’s just clearly one who’s been sexually abused in the band.
Scott: I just wanted to be more formal about this!
Danny: We’re getting into dangerous territory here, Jesus…
What was your favourite cartoon when you were a kid?
Scott: Oh man, that’s hard though. As a kid man, I loved Rugrats, I thought it was ridiculously good. I would go back and watch it as an adult, because I reckon there’d be a whole bunch of stuff in there that I missed. So yeah, Rugrats for me.
What does ‘thall’ mean to you?
Ash: It means something that I just saw on the back of a car, just as we parked. It basically means “do not hit us because we can’t afford it”. That’s what it’s gonna mean to me for the rest of my life.
Danny: What is it?
Everyone else: Thall.
Scott: Vildhjarta‘s “thing”, I dunno what it is.
If you look at any tech thing on social media, you’ll see it in the comments somewhere.
Danny: So someone will say it in the comments, and nobody knows what it means. Got it.
What’s the least accurate thing you’ve read about your band in print?
Alex: I wanna be so sarcastic…oh! That Daniel doesn’t play the keyboards. Or is able to, at all.
Danny: Yeah, at no stage of the band did I ever play keyboards, ever.
Alex: He’s the keyboard player, and yeah, that has all been meticulously and painstakingly programmed at home, note by note.
Simon: So you’re doing a Milli Vanilli type thing?
Alex: Yeah, totally, we press record, hit one note, stop. Press record, hit another note, stop.
Danny: Um, that is what I do…
Alex: Oh right!
You can Quantum Leap into one musician’s body for one show. You look like them, but retain your level of ability. Who would you be?
Danny: Peter Steele, Type O Negative. Except he’s kinda dead.
That is a bit of a problem.
Danny: If you can time travel as well, then that’s cool. Yep, it’d be Peter Steele. Mainly due to the 12-inch penis. I just wouldn’t know how to use it!
Ash: You’d have to be early 90s Peter Steele, prior to the fat stage. You wanna be the ‘featured on Jerry Springer’ stage. “What? A twelve-inch cock?! I mean, where am I gonna put it?”
Which is your favourite European country?
Simone: Ooh, that’s really hard. Um, literally Germany believe it or not. Well because I’m from the UK, you bastards. But I love Berlin and Germany.
What’s your favourite monument or monolith from your local area?
Simone: Do we have any?!
Scott: There’s nothing…y’know there’s that really big rock on Charles Street? That’s gotta be it! In terms of a landmark, Kings Park. We’re from Perth, western Australia. And if I wanna talk Perth, then the beaches are just *kissing noise* A+. So good. There are no real interesting monuments per se.
Alex: What about the pinnacles?
Scott: That’s like four hours’ drive north!
But in Australian terms that’s next door.
Danny: Yeah, it’s worth getting in your car for. I went there a couple of years ago, and it’s stunning, just the sunset, it’s awesome. I like it.
What would be your specialist subject on Mastermind?
Ash: Beer or Greek mythology. One of the two, or both.
Danny: What about Greek beer?
Ash: Yeah, OK, Greek beer too! Drinking, brewing, anything to do with beer, beer styles, or Greek.
The object in front of you might be poo, or it might be chocolate. How do you find out?
Alex: Well first I check my undies, and then…I’d probably just do without!
Nobody’s ever picked that before!
Alex: Well you didn’t say I had to eat it, right?
Simone: Or tongue, furiously.
Describe your band with a film title.
*All laugh loudly*
Alex: See if you can work out why. You’ll be pleasantly surprised!
Danny: Big Mama’s House? I dunno.
Simone: Hell no.
Alex/Scott: White Chicks.
Danny: Demolition Man.
What would be your wrestling names?
Simone: I have no idea what I would be. You tell me, what would I be?
Scott: You’d be A-Bomb.
Alex: And he is Scottish Attitude.
Danny: I was thinking Fireball, something to do with fire. You’d be The Husk.
Simone: The Hussky Fireball.
Scott: Jesus, I would get fucking annihilated if I got wrestled, seriously! I would just die. I would be The Annihilated! I like that, that’s awesome.
Alex: THE ROCK VS. THE ANNIHILATED. I WONDER WHO’S GOING TO LIVE?
Danny: The Rock vs. Pussybitch.
Scott: I would have to be The Incredible Wimp.
Simone: We’re not really that good, are we?
Danny: I probably would be Chocobon. Or Superdickman! I like those without context.
A cartoon is being made about your band, but you’re all being replaced by anthropomorphic animals. What type of animal would you be?
Danny: I’d be a polite bird.
Simone: Tiny lobster.
Alex: So many animal in-jokes with this band!
Scott: A monkey.
Ash: I’d be a bee.
Danny: This joke ends NOW. Nobody needs to know any more about the bee joke!
Ash: I like that, we’re a hive of bees. And Scott would be like Gargamel from The Smurfs, so he’d be the beekeeper.
Would you rather be trapped in a swimming pool with a great white shark, or a basement with a grizzly bear?
Ash: Ooh! I think bears kill more people than sharks do. So I’ll go with the sharks.
Simone: Just stab in the eye or punch on the nose.
Ash: Yeah, in Australia we know how to deal with great whites.
What’s the nicest thing someone has ever said to you?
Alex: You know what, just last night, someone said that I was exceptional.
Scott: Was it your mum?
Alex: Yeah, she called me long-distance. “I just called because I wanted to say, you’re exceptional, son.”
Simone: “Do I know you?”
Alex: “Quite exceptional”, I think it was.
Danny: They actually said “I really like your band, but you’re an exception”.
Alex: The singer just can’t handle the bass player getting a compliment!…That’s the nicest thing HE’S ever said to me!
Which other band on the Euroblast bill could you comfortably beat in a fight? Group effort.
Alex: The Algorithm, there’s only two of them! And Remi’s sorta short, I guess?
Danny: I’d say Monuments, because they’ve been touring so much, they must be exhausted!
Scott: Great, John Browne’s already threatened to knock me out today!
Alex: Kissed me on the cheek, I’d never met him before!
Ash: Our goal then is to befriend them, and then catch them off-guard!
Simon: When I asked Monuments this question at Tech-Fest, they said they could take on everyone.
Simone: No they can’t!
Scott: Game on, bitches!
Dec 11 @ The Gov, Adelaide, Australia
Dec 12 @ Capitol, Perth, Australia
Dec 13 @ Prince Of Wales, Bunbury, Australia
Dec 18 @ Hifi, Brisbane, Australia
Dec 19 @ The Metro, Sydney, Australia
Dec 20 @ Hifi, Melbourne, Australia
Dec 21 @ Waves, Wollongong, Australia