Alex and Dave from The Sun Explodes answer our questions at Tech Fest 2014
Of all the various wonderful people we had the pleasure of meeting at Tech Fest this year, The Sun Explodes have to be some of the funniest and nicest. We’ve had a bit of a boner over their latest album We Build Mountains since it came out last year, and all of The Monolith crew made sure to rock up to the festival by 3pm on Thursday in order to make sure we caught their set, so we couldn’t really pass up the chance to ask them a few questions – in fact, they were one of if not the very first to come under fire, and so they had no idea what to expect…
Vocalist Dave Maclachlan and guitarist/vocalist Alex Adamson sat down with myself, Chris and Quigs and talked about sniffing poo, who’s the alpha male of the band, and naked sexagenarians at shows.
Simon: Who the fuck are you and why should we care?
Dave: We’re The Sun Explodes and you should care because the sun is always exploding, so technically, it’s not really a very grandiose name (laughs), but it’s always exploding and you should all be aware of it because you can get radiated.
S: Would you rather be punched once in the nuts or three times in the face?
Adam: Three times in the face for sure. Definitely.
A: I think I could take a punch to the face more than I could take a punch to the nuts to be honest. Even if it’s repeated I could take it. (Turns to Dave) What about you?
D: Me? Nuts.
A: You’re used to being manhandled.
D: No, you feel shitty afterwards, but it doesn’t hurt straight away. It’s like “bam!” and ten minutes later you’re like “Uhhhh” . Plus, who wants to ruin THIS (gestures to face).
Q: Well, that’s how you hit the high notes isn’t it?
A: Yeah, just whack him in the nuts.
D: Yeah, I’ve got callouses down there.
S: Which band on the Tech Fest bill could you comfortably beat in a fight?
A: I’m going to say Aliases. We have this banter with Aliases all the time. We can drink more than you, we can party harder than you, so I think we can take them all in a fight.
D: Plus, we’ve got their singer Joe in our camp, and he’s really drunk so I reckon we could knock him out. I don’t know about Leah .
A: Yeah, well we heard that story about Leah, she broke someone’s collarbone last year didn’t she?
D: Yeah, last year she was called Bonecrusher for that. Everyone seems to know this story, but I only just found out about it.
A: Yeah, but I still think we can take them.
D: Yeah. Why not.
S: Would you rather watch your parents have sex every day of your life, or join in once to make it stop?
D: Aw man!
A: I would watch, I can’t get involved in that.
D: I’d join in to stop it, my dad looks like me.
A: No, I would have to watch.
D: My dad’s good looking, I wouldn’t mind.
A: Nah man, have to watch.
D: Thing is, think of the emotional trauma you would suffer from.
A: And you’re saying you wouldn’t get trauma from penetrating your mother?
D: Naaa, I’ve been in there already!
A: Oh God (laughs)
D: I was in my dad’s willy and then I got shot into my mum’s fanny and then boom! Out I popped.
D: Just think of it like that. Like birth in reverse.
D: Jesus, I’m terrible…
S: What’s the oddest thing that has happened at one of your shows?
A: What about the one that we weren’t playing, but there was that guy who got naked and kicked out of the gig?
D: Yeah! We were playing a show – a show? Everyone says show nowadays, but it’s more of a gig really. It should just be gig really? We were playing a gig and it was innnnn –
D: Chester! And it was at a place called The Compass, unnecessary superflouous information. There was this guy, a really old man was stood in front of us watching this beatdown band and he was watching them, and he was really old – I’m talking 60-70 years old – and he just started getting undressed down to his boxer shorts.
A: He was really angry though. He was going up to people and going “Fucking come on!!!!”
D: Yeah, and he just got in there and took his pants off. He wasn’t like living large or anything, there was no pit, he was just there.
A: Yeah, he got naked, and then he got kicked out, but you took a picture of him didn’t you?
D: Yeah! I didn’t take a picture of his penis, I took a picture of his bottom.
A: There may have been a sly bullock hanging out though.
D: We put it up on The Sun Explodes’ Facebook page and then our account got banned for a while.
A: And because of that we all got banned as well.
D: And that was the week that our tour had just started, when we really needed Facebook to help promote it.
A: Yeah, but that was quite strange wasn’t it? There was literally no reason for him to get naked. Usually that’s your job isn’t it Dave?
D: It’s true… He was in good shape for his age though.
D: He was! He was alright! Wouldn’t kick him out of bed.
Chris: Is that with or without your parents?
(Even more laughter)
D: Got to keep it spicy man! Keep it interesting.
C: The spouse of the person you’re sleeping with comes home, where do you hide? And this one is not to do with your family (laughs)
D: Well, unless your spouse is your cousin. Or a brother or sister.
A: (Laughs) I’m a big guy, I don’t know if I could hide anywhere.
D: It depends really, there’s not enough information there, like if it was in a cave there might be other caves you could hide in.
D: But if it was in a bedroom, which I’m assuming is what is inferred…
C: Yeah, standard bedroom.
D: Standard bedroom… I just wouldn’t.
A: I wouldn’t either to be honest. I’d just sit there and take it.
D: They could just come in and I’ll be like “Lel”
A: See, if someone came in I would say like “I’ll give you the first punch, but after that it’s fair game.”
D: Yeah, don’t hide is the general consensus.
S: You’re stranded on a desert island, which band member becomes leader of the tribe?
D: Oh! It would be Alex Harris wouldn’t it?
A: Na, I’d kill him.
D: Yeah, but, right our singer/songwriter bloke Alex Harris he’s proper like, well he thinks he’s alpha male, but he’s not. He’s like beta male, maybe gamma male, or however low it goes. He thinks he knows everything and loves to take charge and go on at length about his cables and what not, but when stuff requires actual masculine skills, you know, gender skills like the car breaks down and we’ve all got the hood up and working on getting it fixed. We’re all shit, but we’re giving it a go, and he just starts freaking out like the world’s going to end and when the mechanic comes it’s amazing, because the mechanic guy is a pure bastion of masculinity and Alex Harris is there like *whimpers*. So I think his leadership skills would be alright…
A: Na, I think what will happen is Alex would take some kind of priority role, but then we would all just take him out….
D: And eat him.
A: It would just devolve into murder and cannibalism.
D: You could eat his muscles. You know all that muscle shit that you do, so you could eat his muscles and that.
A: Mmm flesh.
D: I reckon Mike would be a really good leader because he’s really level headed. Yeah, Mike our bass player. Wait, was that the question? Sorry, yeah Mike our bass player. *Turns to Alex* Sorry! I’m not discounting you, it’s just your the youngest one.
A: That’s ok. It’s fine. *Looks crushed*
D: He’s the youngest one. He’s the baby of the group.
A: I don’t look it, I look like the oldest.
D: For his age, he looks old.
A: I’ve had a hard life. Don’t do drugs.
C: Would you rather have a vagina on your forehead, or a row of penises down your back like a stegosaurus?
A: I’m going to take stegosaurus penis back.
D: I think a vagina on my forehead because I’m pretty sure…
A: Awww, cranial intercourse.
D: No, no.
A: Take that third eye to the next level!
D: I’m pretty sure it would be a cool representation of the third eye, like a bindi, representing creation and birth – makes me kinda exotic and shit. I’m all down for being exotic. I think when you see ladies’ bindis I think they look dead cool. So I’ll have a vagina bindi on my head .
A: Can you not imagine how amazing your back would look though if you got erect?
C: That depends on how well endowed you are.
D: You’d be sleeping and it would be horrible. You’d have a spunky back.
C: You don’t want a wet dream.
Q: You’d be lying on them and crushing them.
D: Awww, no no. You can have stegosaurus penis, I’ll have the vagina.
A: Yeah alright, you have the vagina face.
S: What question should we ask the next band?
D: What we get to make one up?
A: (To Dave) You’re the sexually visceral one, you might as well think of something.
D: When was the first time you masturbated to completion over a relative?
D: Even if they haven’t ever done it, next time they masturbate they’ll think about it!
A: Oh Grandma!
D: (To Alex) As if you’ve never masturbated over a relative.
D: Your uncle’s got a bushy beard.
C: Not even a distant cousin?
(Everyone except Alex laughs)
D: Your mum is what’s considered a MILF.
A: She’s also a bastard.
C: Even better!
D: Aww, I like your mum!
A: I don’t, she’s horrendous.
D: I love how your mum tries to be down with it on Facebook.
A: She’s always sending him terrible things.
A: If you weren’t such a gay guy who could take a good laugh you may have taken offence to a lot of the stuff that she’s sent to you.
D: The more offensive the better.
C: The object in front of you might be poo, it might be chocolate, how do you find out?
A: Sniff the bastard. That’s easy innit!
D: Yeah, but that’s not a very interesting answer.
A: Well, what would you do?
D: Send it off for chemical analysis.
A: I haven’t got the time.
D: I was watching X-Files right, and Scully can do that really really quick. She’d be like oh yeah man this is definitely chocolate, you can eat it.
A: Right, well I’d just sniff it.
D: I’d send it off for chemical analysis and then I’d get the BAU to profile whose poo it was.
A: What so you can find out whose it was and return it?
D: Yep, exactly. It might be chocolate though! If it’s chocolate I don’t want to return it to anyone, I want to eat it.
C: It’s a moral dilemma
D: Unless it’s that horrible chocobox you get from Tesco, you know the one that’s got marshmellows and shit in it. You know all that fruit and nut bollocks, where there’s peanuts and fruit and stuff, there’s more room for chocolate there.
D: So if you took all them out there’d be more chocolate.
C: What if all of that was in a pile of shit though?
A: A big nutty shit.
S: Squirrel shit.
S: Thank you guys.
D: No, thank you. Absolute pleasure!
The Sun Explodes are currently working on their next TWO albums, and we hope to see some result of that very soon. They’re also rumoured to be touring later this year, so keep your eyes peeled!