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Dinosaur pranks should be used to determine what people are really made of

Japanese Dinosaur attack

Regular readers may have noticed that things have been a little quiet lately. I unfortunately have had less time to write as of late, and as a result some of our content has suffered. I will no longer be doing large articles grouping together comic book movie news or film trailers as they take a massive amount of time to write and edit that I just do not have anymore. However, I will be making every effort to write small articles on these topics more often, so you can all still get your relevant doses of movie news and trailers.

As you all know by now, we try and start our day with something a little bit light, the calm before the storm as it were, but this isn’t all that “light” when you really think about it. In fact, if this happened to you, I think it’s pretty safe to say that you would end up soiling yourself, it’s just that scary.

Yes, over the next few mornings I shall be talking about how unfair pranks can be, and referencing a few countries that apparently aren’t adverse to the risks of causing heart attacks to their unsuspecting victims. First, we look at Japan, who apparently ritualistically try and scare people to death by making them believe they’re under attack from an angry dinosaur. Here we see an unsuspecting man run for his life:

He seems initially perplexed, bewildered and a little bit frightened when he sees the people run for their lives screaming. How would any one of us react in that situation? For all the people who say such things as “I wouldn’t be fooled! You can see his legs poking out of the bottom!”, I guarantee you they’d be a lot less visible when it’s running at you! Plus, and let’s be honest here, you would scream and run away as soon as its head turned the corner. Here’s another with a bizarrely dressed transexual:

Only in Japan would someone A. dress that insanely in public and B. feel guilty about knocking over a sign whilst being chased by a dinosaur. Seriously, it’s not like your life is in danger or anything. The guy (she? it?) should be commended for his/her/its sense of civil awareness, but come on!  The fact that this adventure ends in the toilet is more than a little disconcerting. Somebody clearly hasn’t seen Jurassic Park.

Thirdly, we see the same callous prank played on a young girl that frankly looks like she just walked off a schoolgirl themed porn set. Sadly, this one descends into “rapey” territory pretty quickly, as the young lady decides running just isn’t for her and curls up into a ball, which is fine and all, except the fake dinosaur keeps nuzzling her lower region as if it’s trying to look up her skirt. Tasty.

Apparently a lot of Japanese humour is derived from the embarrassment of others, and these are clips from a variety show that love playing on universal fears and scaring the shit out of people. That’s all well and good, and somewhat fine, but if the dinosaur thing was a little too “fake” for you, then there’s always clips like this:

Now, obviously not being Japanese I have no idea what it is they’re actually saying, but I find it hard to believe that anyone could justify such an alarming event. Sure, the mannequin thing is scary, but effective in that you get to see a bear tear off the head of a mannequin that looks like you, and then think “Phew! That was a close call!” It’s really scary, but you’re safe. So, who in their right mind thought the next course for action would be to bring the bear back, WITHOUT the mannequin and you should just shout at it until it tries to break the box you’re in to scoop out that tasty human treat. I can’t imagine this ending well for anyone, least of all the bear, who if he managed to actually break open the container will either be shot, or alternatively snack down on something that’s 70% eyebrows. I sense a bit of a nasty cough in that bear’s future.

Of course, comedy writing purposes aside, all of this stuff does make sense and it’s just a series of clips taken completely out of context. We have all manner of shows that contain crazy pranks or ridiculous things. I’m sure a bunch of non English speakers watching clips of a Bushtucker trial from I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here! probably think “what the fuck is wrong with these people?!” It’s only natural, and obviously random Youtube clips taken out of context and put in other languages can only make a certain amount of sense to the casual observer.

Our resident Japanese expert Preston, informs me that the peculiarly dressed individual in the second clip is actually just an entertainer wearing a ridiculous costume for the sake of his act (so basically it’s like the Japanese version of Punk’d).

As for the clip with the bear? Well, this is a brave woman who makes a show that sees her travel around the world and give survival tips about locales, animals and general tourist information. It’s an informative entertainment program and shares similar DNA with the Jackass spin-off Wild Boyz. In fairness, if we saw the Jackass guys do something like this we wouldn’t really think twice. Although, you may be interested to know that the woman in the box keeps screaming “Oh God I’m so scared!” Really? I wonder why.

Thanks for spoiling all our fun Preston.

Back to the original point though, is the dinosaur thing not absolutely batshit scary? Seriously. And can you imagine doing it to famous people in the US? The outrage and lawsuits would fly thick and fast!

What do you guys think? Would you be scared if someone did that to you? Is the third dinosaur clip just a little unnecessary? Could you imagine doing it to famous American celebrities? Did Preston ruin our fun? Sound off in the comments!

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