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Iron Inquisition

This one is likely to cause a few arguments, particularly between those of you who are in bands, but because we’re absolute and categorically vindictive arseholes, we’re starting off your pre-christmas week with a potential argument: who, in your standard rock band set up of guitars, drums, vocals and bass, has the hardest job?

Ho boy.

Maybe it’s not quite so evil as wanting to watch the world tear itself apart whilst we laugh maniacally in our throne room atop the tower (well, maybe just a little), but quite honestly, I can’t figure it out.

I have some small proficiency with the guitar. I started about nine years ago and got nowhere fast, so it’s mostly cursory, but I’m confident if I had the time and inclination I could get better. I know my way around the instrument, so it’s no big mystery to me – even if I currently suck. Similarly, I reckon I could handle a bass, although I am aware they require very different techniques.

I reckon if I tried I could get into drumming. I spend a lot of time air-drumming, so I think I could get the rhythm down once I figured out what my limbs were doing.

I cannot, on the other hand, sing. At all. And I really wish I could. I wish I could charm the birds from the trees, soothe that annoying kid in the pushchair on the tube, and sing the panties off my girlfriend (not whilst on the tube, mind), but I cannot. I can’t even ‘hide’ behind screaming, because I can’t do that either, and as a result I find vocals to be undoubtedly the most difficult of the four.

For argument’s sake, let’s not get into people who do multiple things simultaneously, because quite frankly I’d like to twat the likes of Thomas Erak in his stupid talented face. Jerk.

So tell us folks: which is the hardest? Can any of you do all four? Let us know so we can come introduce you to the business end of a frying pan to the face, and consume your soul for our benefit.

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