Johnsons incoming from Efron and The Rock in new Baywatch film?
Hollywood and the TV industry are in a really weird place right now. Recently, older movies are being converted into television series at an alarming rate; there’s now close to 40 TV shows (a number that is continually increasing) being developed around movies, and it seems that Hollywood is now playing catch-up. Recently we’ve seen major Hollywood studios announce several films based on older TV shows, and this trend is seemingly set to continue.
As a result, we now find ourselves at this odd piece of news. Paramount, inspired by Sony‘s huge success with the 21 Jump Street series (under the steady hands of young master filmmakers Phil Lord & Chris Miller), are attempting to replicate that success with the announcement of a movie based on the hugely popular Baywatch series.
Admittedly, my first reaction was dismissive. Why would anyone want to see a Baywatch movie in 2015? But that’s likely how people felt when the aforementioned 21 Jump Street was first announced, so perhaps we should give this puzzling addition to the upcoming movie slate a chance?
Baywatch will be directed by Seth Gordon - best known for the two Horrible Bosses films – and while they had a great concept, the execution was disappointing. To bring Baywatch to life, Gordon embarked on an epic and long search to find two appropriate thespian leading men that could deliver the gravitas that this monumental property truly deserved.
Unfortunately, he couldn’t find anyone suitable so he settled on the rock hard bodies of Dwayne Johnson and Zac Efron, who will likely spend a large amount of the movie pretending to be real people, while walking around in various states of undress. That sound you hear is the sound of the entire world being incredibly bummed out about this. Not.
The Baywatch film will reportedly involve our faithful lifeguards banding together to stop an evil oil tycoon from taking over and destroying the beach, which actually sounds…pretty tame compared to the episode where the lifeguards had to disarm a nuclear bomb. Yes, really It’ll also involve a lot of abs, boobs, butts, and even more abs.
Basically, it’s an excuse to see attractive people in as close to naked as you can get, for ye who have no imagination. Undoubtedly Gordon will now be working extremely hard to fill out the cast with gorgeous females to distract the men in attendance from feeling woefully inferior as their partners navel gaze at two of the “hottest dudes” in Hollywood.
But what’s that, we may get a little more than expected? Here’s Mr. Johnson’s latest tweet on the subject:
As you can see from the top comment that I’ve included there – there’s a contingent of people out there that would really like to see Zac Efron’s dick, and presumably Johnson’s Johnson as well? Alrighty then.
Get ready to cover your eyes sometime in 2017 when David Hasselhoff inevitably drags his leathery carcass into shot for an awkwardly ingratiating cameo.
Also, we now live in a world where old family friendly comedies get turned into raunchy R-rated smashes, and ultra-violent, ultra-awesome old science fiction get remade as toothless PG-13 glossathons. Pour one out for Robocop.
What do you guys think? Could a Baywatch movie work with this group? Would you watch it? Do you want to see Dwayne Johnson, and/or Zac Efron naked? Sound off in the comments!