Simon grills TesseracT drummer Jay Postones at Euroblast 2014!
Simon: Who the fuck are you and why should we care?
Jay: That’s alright. I’m the person who’s headlining today! No, urm. I’m Jay, I play drums in TesseracT, and you should care because I’ve put a lot of time and effort into learning these damn things, and it’s really hard…sometimes…but it’s very enjoyable at the same time.
S: Would you rather have gills or wings?
J: Wings, definitely. I wanna soar like an eagle, and catch that fish that’s taunting me with his gills. I’d prefer to fly than go underwater. You can scuba dive, and you can go up in a plane, but you can’t really — and I’ve seen those wing suits, I’ve seen one too many videos of people really badly dying in a wing suit. So, wings.
S: Which musician could you least stand and why?
J: Ah, Christ. I don’t know. What do I hate? Awww, Nicki Minaj. I don’t actually hate any musician, and that’s gonna sound like “Uuugh, everyone’s cool”, but there’s nothing that I really truly, truly despise, and no one that I really truly despise. There’s music that I don’t listen to, which is most music. So I’m gonna say everyone.
S: I think if you get to the point where you hate someone, then you’re doing something wrong, because you’re listening to someone you don’t like.
J: Yeah, I listen to very little music, and it’s mainly because I’m a massive music snob. There’s not a lot that really moves me. There’s music that I don’t understand, like orchestral music, or electronic music that, I understand how they’ve done it, but I’m massively impressed with A) the level of musicianship and B) understanding of software, with stuff like Jon Hopkins or Trentemøller, stuff like that. Love it. But yeah, I don’t hate anyone I don’t think.
S: I don’t think I’ve heard a single Nicki Minaj song, I don’t know what it sounds like.
J: I only say that because, Maz (tour manager) said to watch this video of some woman shaking her ass, and that’s basically, she just talks about her ass, and shakes it really quick.
S: You are stranded on a desert island, which band member do you eat first?
J: Well Metal’s (James Monteith) got no meat on him, he’s tall but he’s thin, and I think it might be a bit grim with what he eats, it might taste like catfish or something slimy. Acle’s really small, so again, no meat on him, it doesn’t seem worth killing him. Dan and Amos are both reasonably hench, they lift stuff every day, so they’re gonna have a bit more weight… muscle, let’s say. I’m not gonna kill myself.
S: Drummers generally do badly on this question.
J: Oh really?
S: They are meatiest, usually.
J: I’m definitely not. Look at that, I’ve got chicken legs! That’s the same thickness there as it is there. I’m gonna say Mos. I was his best man, so he’s not going to appreciate me saying that! For the simple reason that he lifts gear every day, and therefore has the most meat, so I don’t think he’d mind being sacrificed, I think he’d feel quite honoured that I chose him.
S: I’m sure he would.
S: Would you rather have your life narrated by Morgan Freeman, or have mood music constantly playing in the background?
J: Ohhhh. Hahahahahaha. Well both of them would be incredible AND annoying, wouldn’t they? Urm, I’m gonna say the mood music. I mean, Morgan Freeman narrating everything I do would be an honour, but the mood music, sometimes that would just be brilliant. And even when you’re feeling shit, it would still be something kinda cool. Yeah, mood music, little ambient, lovely. At a festival it would drown out all the bands you don’t want to see. That sounds really bad, doesn’t it?
S: Would you rather be trapped in a swimming pool with a great white shark, or a basement with a grizzly bear?
J: Um, is there a third option?
J: Christ. A swimming pool with a great white shark. Neither of them are very appetising, are they? I think the shark would kill me faster, a grizzly bear would like rip you up a bit, whereas with a shark there’d be a chomp and you’d be gone. It’d be horrible, but if it’s picking the lesser of two evils, I’m gonna say the shark. It’s also pretty random that a shark would be in a swimming pool. There’s a legitimate cause that a grizzly bear might have got into your basement, if you live in Canada and have food. Whereas, shark in a swimming pool, unless you’ve got a swimming pool that’s topped up by the sea, in Australia or wherever great whites are, then…not gonna happen. Make the headlines. So yeah, that one.
S: Would you rather have legs as long as your fingers or fingers as long as your legs?
J: Pffft. Jesus.
S: For drummers this is a particularly difficult question.
J: Fingers as long as my legs, because I could just…my legs would still be the same, so I could still do the pedal stuff, but all I’d have to do is *mimes a move*. I’d be able to do ridiculous rhythms. I’d probably have to learn to play the piano, cuz I’d get the finger coordination thing down, whereas now I’ve just got leg coordination, do you know what I mean? And ten digit independence is what I’d strive to achieve.
S: Double kick and a piano.
J: Double kick, so 1, 2, 12 things going on at once. I’d write ridiculous music if I could do that. So I’m gonna say fingers as long as my legs.
S: What’s your favourite European country?
Jay: Ooh. Do I have one? That’s a pretty random question. Can I pick another one? I’ve gotta answer, have I? Where do I enjoy playing the most…that’s gonna be the basis of my answer. Germany? I’ve played a lot of shows in Germany. This one’s always great. It’s got some nice cities, Cologne’s supposed to be a very beautiful city . Yeah, Germany’s always cool. If it’s based on music, Germany is cool.
S: What’s the nicest thing someone has ever said to you?
Jay: Um. “Yes”. There’s not one thing that stands out. It’s a bit weird to take, but people, when they compliment my drumming, it feels a little bit weird to listen to, because you don’t want to be the guy who’s like “Yeah, of course”. You don’t want to be big-headed, but it’s like what I said at the start, it is hard to do this kind of stuff, and I’ve put a lot of effort in, at least some people are taking something away from it, if they can enjoy whatever it is, and then compliment at the end, that’s always very nice. It’s just trying to be humble at the same time. I guess some people say nice things about the stuff I do. There’s not one specific time that’s happened, but it’s cool.