Shattered Skies: under fire at Euroblast
Continuing our ever popular festival interview series in which we get bands to (blindly) pick their own questions from a list, here’s the transcript from our chat with Ian and Sean from Irish quartet Shattered Skies. Poo, more poo, and wrestling names based on bumholes are the order of the day.
Who the fuck are you, and why should we care?
Ian: Haha, that’s a tough one to answer. We’re Shattered Skies, we’re a progressive metal band from Ireland but we live in the UK and we’re just about to put out an album in January, this is our third time playing Euroblast. And we’re really fucking good, that’s why you should care.
Which other band on the bill could you comfortably beat in a fight?
Ian: I think Remi.
Sean: Oh yeah, The Algorithm. That’s true.
Ian: I love Remi, I think he’s a great guy, but I think the numbers work in our favour. We’d just hold Jim (Hughes, bassist) as a battering ram.
Sean: So yeah, watch out Remi!
Which riff do you wish you had written?
Ian: Oh, Jesus. I think I may go with a classic one and a modern one, because there’s just too many. Classic, anything by Dimebag Darrell, I would say probably… the starting riff of “Cowboys From Hell“, just that riff. Any time you hear in the bar, or anywhere, it’s just one of those riffs. More recently, because I still think there are some amazing riffs coming out these days, I actually really like, there’s a riff on the new Animals As Leaders album, on “Physical Education“. Just the opening riff of that song. It’s like this slap guitar riff with lots of harmonics in it, and it sounds like nothing I’ve heard in a long time….He (Sean) doesn’t write riffs, so *laughs*.
You’re given a giant catapult. What do you fire in it, and you may also pick a target.
Ian: I would like to catapult a pig and a donkey.
Sean: He needs a target.
Ian: Oh the donkey. That’d be an interesting combination of noises! *mimics the animal noises*. We should do that and you can add it onto the end of the interview. It’d sound great.
Would you rather eat the same meal every day for the rest of your life, or have every meal be a taste sensation, but every month have to eat a dog poo sandwich?
Ian: Why dog poo? We discovered one of our writers has a real scatalogical fetish…
Sean: I don’t think I could…that’s once a month I’d have to do that! I dunno, I think I’m gonna have to have the same meal every day.
Ian: You could just get it over with on the first of the month, but every day you’d be thinking “Oh God, I’m one day closer to dog poo!” Dog Poo Friday. You’d have a whole ritual, find a dog, hold the bread underneath its ass…”Why do I do this?”…
Sean: Cry for a few months.
Ian: I think I’d go with the same meal too. I’d hate it after all, I’m sure, but d’ugh.
What’s your favorite monument or monolith from your local area?
Ian: Are there any?
Sean: Um, let me think.
Ian: Or you could pick somewhere in Ireland.
Sean: Yeah, being Irish, I like the mountains, that’s not a monument though.
Ian: Is there any ruin where you lived?
Sean: No. Oh I know, Spire of Dublin. Hugest spire in Dublin.
Ian: It’s this giant spike. It’s really lame.
Sean: Yeah but I like that. It’s like a tall toothpick. The Stiffy By The Liffey.
Would you rather watch your parents have sex every day of your life, or join in once to stop it?
Ian: Hahaha! Oh that’s a good one. Um.
Sean: Oh God, and I know your parents too…
Ian: Oh yeah, you know my parents well, don’t you?
Sean: I do! They’ve lovely people!
Ian: Man, I don’t think I could deal with it every day for the rest of my life.
Sean: You’d have to go into the room and just look at them. “Hi mum, hi dad!”
Ian: It’d take up so much of your time as well! I’ve got other things to be doing with my life!
You could have some sort of webcam arrangement, maybe?
Ian: I really hope this isn’t going public out of context, but I think I’m going to have to have sex with my parents.
What’s your karaoke song?
Sean: I had a few, a good few. I started off with Oasis originally.
Ian: With him being a classically trained singer, he goes and does karaoke, and everyone was like “Ah, you dick”.
Sean: “Bohemian Rhapsody” would be one, and then Muse – “Time Is Running Out“. Anything by Muse or Queen really.
What incident from your childhood do your parents still talk about to this day?
Ian: Probably when my dad accidentally closed the inside of the door where the hinges are. I was like three, and I put my fingers in it, and he closed the door without realizing it. It severed this part of my finger off, you can see the scar.
Sean: That’s what gives you your guitar powers.
You turned into Tony Iommi here.
Ian: Exactly, I’m a really mediocre Tony Iommi. I’ve severed one finger so I’m a tenth of the ability of him. But yeah, that happened. It’s funny because my dad felt so guilty, when he didn’t even know I was doing that, I was three. But they still talk about it, because they had to take me to the doctor, keep my bit of finger in some tissue and all that. But it got reattached, I still have it.
Ian: Let’s not talk about my parents’ happy ending. Not a good topic at the moment.
Which musician can you least stand and why?
Ian: Erm, let’s not pick anyone that’s currently playing this festival.
Sean: No, there is someone that really annoys me. Anything that’s in the pop charts does my head in, really. It’s just auto-tuned shit. It actually makes me angry, listening to the radio. “It’s my birthday, it’s my birthday, I got some money”, like fuck it’s awful. So anything, Will.i.am. Yeah, that’s a good choice. *makes autotuned gulping noises*, that’s technology innit? That’s my answer.
What do blind people see in their dreams?
Ian: Uhh, my parents having sex?
Sean: Perfect picture in their heads and yet they’ve never seen them before. “Why is it this I have to see every fucking night?”
Ian: I dunno, I assume there must have been studies done and asked people if they do see things in their dreams. Dunno why I’m getting all serious all of a sudden. I’ve no idea. Hopefully not my parents.
Sean: Do you think they’re listening to this?
Ian: Nah, I doubt it.
Sean: I’ll link it to them.
Ian: Ah shit.
Would you rather have your body discovered surrounded by sex toys or hard drugs?
Ian: Erm, well it’s my body, so wouldn’t really matter, I’d be dead. Bit of both? They’d be like “well this guy had a party! Woo!”
The object in front of you might be poo or might be chocolate. How do you find out?
Sean: Um, I’d bury my face in it like Homer Simpson gorging on ice cream.
Ian: Gotta be spontaneous. There’s only one way to find out for sure, I mean you can send it to somewhere for a test. But no, I wanna get to the bottom of it. Not literally…
What would be your wrestling names?
Sean: Ah, that’s a good one. I haven’t any wrestling plans…
Ian: I’m gonna go with The Taint.
Sean: I’m gonna go with Great N’ Murphy.
Ian: It’s a character that Sean and our drummer Ross dreamt of. When we were recording Reanimation, Ross stayed in the house for like two weeks, and they got very stoned, we were drinking as well obviously, but we wanted to recording so it was something funny. So we made him a character, shit music, really bad lyrics, we found it funny. Nobody else finds it funny, everyone else finds it annoying. We played it to Remi, and his face was just horrified. He seemed genuinely offended. So he’d be really annoying, and just poke people in the eye, stuff like that. As for The Taint, there’s nothing clever behind it, it’s just slang. You don’t wanna know what my finishing move is…
What superpower would you most like to have?
Ian: The ability to spontaneously cure AIDS but give cancer.
At the same time?
Ian: Yeah, just mixed emotions in the end. I dunno why that came into my head…
That is definitely not a happy ending.
Ian: That’s it, that’s all folks.
Shattered Skies’ The World We Used To Know is due out January 12th. A UK tour is in the works in support.