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Old Man Gloom; rustling jimmies by the dozen

Old Man Gloom 2014

You fuckers. You sneaky fuckers. Well played.

The four members of Old Man Gloom are well known beyond their collective exploits, and you’d think butter wouldn’t melt, but the bastards have pulled an absolute blinder. Would members of ISIS, Converge and Cave In - bands around for more than a decade each – be that devious, that ‘unprofessional’ as to swindle a bunch of hardworking journalists?

Considering the name of their new album, The Ape Of God, perhaps we should have seen this coming. Apes, man’s closest cousin in the animal kingdom, are intelligent and playful, and not without their human-like characteristics. Factor in the influence of a tricksy, or even malevolent god, and we really should have known that things weren’t going to be straightforward.

Let me explain: last Friday – just days before the launch of their new album The Ape Of God, it leaked – naughty naughty. In response, Old Man Gloom ‘advised’ (or pointed, laughed, and spent the rest of the weekend poking and cajoling) that what everyone had was NOT The Ape Of God - in fact, what they’d given out to reviewers was not The Ape Of God. Except that it was. But also wasn’t.

What was given out was an edited amalgamation of the two new, full-length Old Man Gloom albums, which are BOTH called The Ape Of God. They never said it was one album, to be fair; no track-list was ever released. Everyone assumed, and Old Man Gloom took us for fools.

I, for one, welcome our new simian overlords.



Middle Finger Monkey

Some had actually already worked this out – Amazon has been listing both albums for a good few weeks now, and even if not, OMG have been telling us for weeks that they have been lying to us.

There’s been an incredible amount of salt and tears spilled over these hi-jinks. People don’t like being tricked, and between disgruntled reviewers (most of whom would not have leaked it, let’s be fair) and the generally po-faced cynics of the internet generation, you’d have thought Old Man Gloom pulled the sheets over our heads and expelled a gas most foul into a metaphorical dutch oven of trickery before cackling at their own genius. It’s sort of like that guy who laughs at all their own jokes, except actually funny.

But I mean come on now; really? Get over yourself. In the now stale and predictable world of new song/music video/album stream/release, Old Man Gloom have at least created a little bit of fun, and as it has hurt exactly 0 people and caused hilarity for many, we can do nothing but sit on our iron thrones and applaud. From a marketing standpoint, it has got people talking about the band, and fuckwits like me writing things like this. It’s a win-win for the band. Are they going to care about a few rustled jimmies and some frowny-faced emoticons? Probably not, so I’d probably not waste the energy being upset.

Both new albums are now streaming online in full, confirming that the copy we had omitted four tracks in total, including the opening track from both. You can listen to The Ape Of God and The Ape Of God below.