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Star Trek + Star Wars + ??? for Protest The Hero’s new video

Protest The Hero Clarity Darth Vader titty twister

The savvy (or non short-term amnesia sufferers) amongst you will recall the recent unveiling of Canadian tech metal darlings Protest The Hero‘s first new song from their forthcoming new crowdfunded album Volition. Raising $341,000 as they did, blowing expectations out of the water, yada yada, we’re inching ever closer to the October 29th release date, and so the band have decided to release a lyric film that serves as more of a fully-fledged music video to accompany said track. Check it out

The mid-way line “I don’t care who shot first” provides ‘clarity’ (had to, sorry) into why the band chose this theme – referencing the infamous Han Solo vs. Greedo argument that has raged since the remastered original Star Wars trilogy came out – but there are myriad important square-offs depicted here which warrant a closer look:

Chewbacca vs. Beverly Crusher

Now, I know Doctor Bevs Crusher is a force to be reckoned with, but nuggying Chewbacca is total horseshit and I demand a recount.

Boba Fett vs. Dax

The Mandalorian checking his watch as the DS9 symbiote host hammers on his chestplate? Seems right, as Fett is a total bad-ass, but when you consider Jadzia’s wealth of experience from her symbiote’s seven former pairings, you might expect a little more from her.

Captain Kirk vs. Darth Vader

Now, these two titans are rightfully expected in their own pantheons, and whilst you’d expect Darth Vader to have the upper hand (dat headlock), Kirk does get in a crushing titty twister on the Sith Lord, which elicits hisinfamous call of anguish:

darth vader no
Generic Yellow Shirt vs. Darth Maul

I know Maul got taken out by the noobiest padawan ever, but you have to give the double-bladed lightsaber wielder some credit, right? Fear not though; be it by the rejuvenating power of Clone Trooper boobs (pretty sure that never happened!), narrative canon, or some other trickery, the Zabrak will be back…

Clearly we enter nerdgasm territory towards the end, as characters from a whole host of geeky favourites make an appearance – including but not limited to Lord Of The Rings, A Song Of Ice And Fire, possibly Gladiator, and a whole host of other references I didn’t get

Okay, I’ve stopped being a massive dork now. I love both of the shows, but for me, Star Wars characters would win a hand-to-hand rumble like this hands down; their characters are way more over-powered.

Anywiddles, as mentioned, Volition will be out just before Halloween through a variety of labels, including Razor & Tie in the United States, Sony Music in Canada, and Spinefarm Records everywhere else.

[Just one minor issue though guys: you spelled "annihilation" wrong. NOW HIS FAILURE IS COMPLETE]