Posted by & filed under Music, Reviews.

Aborted Fetus - Private Judgment Day 5x5 300dpi

[18th February 2014]
[Comatose Music]

01. Savage Dominance
02. Necropolis Demography
03. Garden Of Kidney Stones
04. Fuck In A Pesthole
05. Private Judgement Day
06. Malignant Pregnancy
07. Gastronomic Confession
08. Brown Totem
09. Guinea Pig
10. Morning Inferno

Aborted Fetus

Russians. We know they’re all crazy bastards. As a Scot, we know crazy bastards, and over the years I have discovered that if anyone can hold a drunken, angry candle at us, it’s those Russians – and nothing goes together like Russians and slam metal! Like their brethren in Abominable Putridity, Aborted Fetus are contenders for the Supreme Dominars of Slam, and whilst their third full length monstrosity Private Judgement Day is pretty fucking short – at a measly twenty-five minutes – it’s quite fucking far from sweet.

We enter their domain with “Savage Dominance” and are greeted with the sound of a crying baby – why did we expect any different? – and then what else but a gut gurgling SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE and a groove-ridden riff that sounds like nothing less than an all-out massacre. The prime difference between normal death metal and slam is the sheer ridiculousness of it. The riffs are soaked in unrelenting groove, the drums pound your cranium like a jackhammer, and the vocals sound like you’re being shat on by some kind of mutated elephant. What’s not to like?

The songs slide by in no time at all, barely giving you a chance to understand the damage your anus has endured. Before long you’re already halfway through the album and your nether regions are practically non existent. This is certainly one of the better releases the genre has to offer; many slam efforts are plagued by horrendous production and vocals that sound like someone recording a drain pipe gurgling through a shoe…from several miles away. Not so in this case; the production is actually quite good and the vocals sound like someone recording a gurgling drain pipe on something slightly more sophisticated than a shoe, and from a reasonable distance.

Private Judgement Day is a victory for these guys. While it actually has fewer slams than the last album - Goresoaked Clinical Accidents - it is one of their best albums yet. However, I think the shortness of the LP is one of its major faults – or perhaps it is not the length of the LP that is the problem, but the length of the songs. This isn’t grind – this is slam, and we want to hear the riffs! Unfortunately you barely finish comprehending one groove before you are forced to move on to another. This has been the problem with all of their albums so far. Believe it or not, this album actually isn’t their shortest, and their longest only beats this album by a few seconds. Some people may like their slam in short doses, and that is completely understandable – though perhaps it could be slightly longer.

Again, this is slam, so if you are looking to tick boxes like progression, beauty, class and diversity, then please look elsewhere. Private Judgement Day is, from start to finish, unadulterated, volatile heaviness with a touch of more unadulterated, volatile heaviness. If you are a fan of the brutal side of metal, then this is an album for you to check out. It is one of the better slam albums of recent memory, and perhaps it is a contender for one of the best slam releases of this year (already).

Notable tracks: Savage Dominance, Fuck in a Pesthole, Private Judgement Day, Brown Totem