Target Incident Report #117-28H-464438: Security Clearance Level Aqua
Subject: Deffrey Goines
Species: Homo sapiens
Date of Origin: July 19th, 1984
Birthplace: Mesa, AZ, United States
The prevailing theory concerning the existence of Deffrey Goines is that he is part of a species that evolved from single-celled organisms into their current semi-hairless primate form over the course of the last few billion years. During his twenty-eight years of existence, the subject has amassed an alarming level of knowledge in certain areas pertaining to intergalactic security. As you are aware, we have been steadily infiltrating all upper-caste levels of the dominant animal species on this planet for some time now, as the plant species have been shown to be limited in either power or influence at this time. This infiltration plan has proven most useful among ‘celebrities’, most notably, celebrities of the order ‘thespians.’ These particular animals are given extreme wealth and attention, despite mostly meager contributions. We have managed to supplant covert agents throughout the actor network, mostly without detection. This is where Deffrey Goines poses a threat. He has managed to chronicle a seemingly unnecessary level of information regarding the names and careers of actors. As far as we can tell, it is completely unnecessary to his day-to-day life or goals or aspirations. But at any rate, the subject possesses an uncanny ability to recognize, name, and detail practically any actor he witnesses. We must continue to monitor Deffrey Goines’ activities as it is possible he is growing aware of our movements. Aside from chronicling actors for no discernible reason, the subject spends his time attending a learning facility in his local area for the purposes of earning an advanced degree in physics. This is also obviously a potentially alarming development, as his intentions for said degree aren’t completely developed, but may involve attaching lasers to any and all of his immediate surroundings. Since early childhood, the subject’s efforts have primarily consisted of musical development. He has been teaching himself how to play various musical instruments for the purposes of entertaining fellow animals and has become at least mildly proficient on a number of instruments, self-releasing a collection of music. He has used these musical exploits to align himself with a group of pan-entertainment lexicographers, despite his own meager writing abilities. His intentions and future remain uncertain. But he is not to be trusted.
The subject has also expressed affection for the musical expression “End Of A Decade” by a group called Frames: