Night gathers, and now my reign begins. It shall not end. I shall take your wife, your lands, your children. I shall collect your crowns and hoard all glory. You shall live and die by my host. I am the sword of the darkness. I am the scream on the wind. I am the fire and the cold, the blight that brings you down, the lash that wakes the sleepers, the fist that breaks the realms of men. I pledge my immortal soul to The Monolith, for this night and all nights to come.
I am Disinformasiya; The Autocrat, and member of The Iron Council; the ruling body of this mighty obelisk. You may kiss my ring. No, not that one!
If the name is familiar, then you have likely read Heavy Blog Is Heavy, a site at which I cut my journalistic teeth for over two years after an accident with a short Japanese man and a hillbilly from Kentucky led me to asserting my will, as only a child of the colonialiest empire (the British one) could, as editor and content creator. If the name isn’t familiar, you haven’t read Heavy Blog Is Heavy, a site at which I cut my journalistic teeth for over two years after an accident with a short Japanese man and a hillbilly from Kentucky. That, or, like a vampire staring into a mirror, you couldn’t see the youthful yet timeless creature in front of you.
This is all going somewhere, I promise.
Being a writer involves a whole lot of ego. To even consider that people will want to read your careful creations, your heuristic hypotheses, and your sometimes asinine alliteration takes several half-baked degrees of confidence – so here we are; a mötley crüe of braggarts, with a product we believe in. We wouldn’t be here if we didn’t have faith that we have something to offer you, and we’re incredibly excited to finally be able to open the doors of The Monolith. Come inside, won’t you? Take a seat by the fire, throw on another small, fluffy creature, and let us tell you of the things we have seen and heard.
It will only hurt a little bit…
At the most basic level, The Monolith is a news resource for heavy metal, and extreme music in general. We also dabble a little in film, but our main focus is the all screaming, all dancing crap of the world. I myself have a keen interest in prog, hardcore, post-hardcore and the genres that flit around those, but you’ll find someone (or two, or three) here who aligns more closely with your tastes, so you’ll be completely able to ignore me and still find something here worth your while reading. Our stable (whoah, horsies!) of writers are experienced – they’ve come from a whole host of existing sites, which I’ll allow them to tell you about over the course of the weekend, but they’re all champing at the bit to push this project out of the nest and get its wings flapping a hundred times a second.
So where do I get off then? What are my credentials?
Very briefly, at the age of eighteen I made the casual decision to attend a fringe London university to study a course I picked on a whim, in no small part due to the short story I wrote in year 8 (seventh grade) about the beach landings at Normandy that my teacher said was pretty good. I’m not even joking. I didn’t even go for a year; I deferred my entry and worked as a mail room lackey at a ‘non-departmental government organisation’. Rock on, dude.
One of my third year modules required me to get some work experience, so being the anti-social scrote that I am, I applied to a metal blog my friend Hayato Imanishi of Cyclamen had just done an interview for. The mighty team of two were looking for writers, and so my application was given probably the slightest of looks before being accepted. I was even older than both of them. Thus it was that I joined Heavy Blog Is Heavy, and for two and a half years I cut my teeth as editorial dictator and writer, publishing over 750 articles, and editing a whole bunch more.
I fell into this industry by chance, but by Thor’s hairy man-nipples am I here to stay, and do I ever plan to browbeat the status quo with his hefty hammer. The Monolith has been over a year in the making, but I’m now more confident than ever that our ambition to revolutionise the way the metal is reported, discussed, and how we as fans interact will come to fruition.
We sincerely hope that you’ll consider joining us as an Acolyte, but even if not, we’ve got plenty of stuff planned for you to get your teeth into. We’ll soon be putting out our first release through Monolithic Records, and we’ve got some exciting partnership plans for the future. We’ll be putting out a t-shirt or two involving our artwork (just look at it!), and of course the Monolithic events we’ve got planned will be open for everyone!
As it stands, we’ve missed most of 2012 from a musical perspective, so by way of introduction here’s my favourite track from this year so far; Exotic Animal Petting Zoo‘s “Pharmakokinetic“: